Crocheting business helps woman deal with struggles

 

Diana Zimmerman

Jennifer Oxley, who creates crocheted treasures at home, models one of her hats.

Jennifer Oxley is learning to make metaphorical lemonade with a crochet hook and a lot of yarn.

Oxley, 48, the daughter of George and Barb Silva and the mother of two girls, knows a bit about how an unexpected loss can derail a life along with all the hopes and dreams one gathers along the way.

A little over 10 years ago her immune system started shutting down. She had just finished her prerequisites and was in her second semester of the nursing program at LCC.

"I was getting bronchitis a lot," Oxley said. "I kept getting sick. I was trying to complete a clinical but I couldn't stand long enough to finish it."

She adjusted and went to work at a publishing company in Longview before finding a job at the newspaper. When a salaried managerial position came open at the publishing company, she went back.

A single, divorced mother with two small children, she was doing well. She even bought her first home.

"I started the new position in January, 2006," Oxley said. "I went into escrow in March of 2006. Two days after my birthday in April I went to work like usual. At some point during the day, it felt like I had a veil over my face. It was blurry and painful. By the time I got done with work, I was unable to drive home. It happened that fast."

Her life was upended by something she could not understand nor control. She could no longer work and had to sell her home. Both were painful losses for a woman who took pride in her independence and her ability to provide for her children.

After several misdiagnoses, including Rheumatoid Arthritis and Sarcoidosis, and visits to the Mayo Clinic and the Cleveland Clinic, she was diagnosed with Scleroderma, which Oxley describes as an autoimmune connective tissue disease. She also has Sjogren's Syndrome.

"Sjogren's causes dry mouth and dry eyes. The front of my eye flares up two or three times a year from that," Oxley said. "The Scleroderma has caused one of my eyes to deviate. They thought for a long time that I could have a surgery to shorten the eye muscle, but with a connective tissue disease it's not worth doing. It will just go right back."

Everything she sees has a double and she has no depth perception.

"The double vision is a challenge," Oxley said. "The first time I got on a riding cart in Fred Meyer, I thought I was going to cream the whole store. Elevators are awful. I have claustrophobia and I see two of everyone."

Her hair breaks off. There is very little room for vanity with this disease.

The Scleroderma also affects her entire gastrointestinal tract, which makes it very difficult for Oxley to eat.

"All I can do is laugh about it because it is so weird," she said. "It's getting progressively worse. I can't swallow without choking, and if I swallow and start choking, then I cough and then I start sneezing. If I sneeze and I swallow, I can't breathe and I start coughing. It's hard to eat. I have to be careful with everything that I eat."

She's lost over 100 pounds and is grateful for the improved mobility but worries about what happens when she can no longer afford to lose weight.

"The disease is very scary," Oxley said. "This goes wrong and that goes wrong. There is still so much that I don't know. I want to go back to the Cleveland Clinic. They have a renowned scleroderma clinic there."

The disease is just part of her story. Oxley is making sure it isn't her whole story. The rest is about acceptance, resilience and playing on the strengths that remain.

"I enjoy life," Oxley said. "I didn't think that was possible when I stopped working. I had to find something to focus on. What is something that can give me the desire to get up in the morning? You think 'How can I get past this? What is the purpose of me being here when I can't do this anymore?' I'm a Christian and I've tried to really rely on my faith."

"I just decided I was going to try crocheting again," Oxley said. "My grandmother taught me how to crochet and how to knit when I was about eight. Right off the bat I knew knitting wasn't for me. I liked the hook. She taught me basic stitches. I made a couple things when I was little and then I put it down for a long time. When I picked it up again, I started with basic things and just kind of taught myself."

"Every time I tried something it just helped so much," she continued. "It took about six months for me to realize that I have to keep doing this every day. When I don't, I find myself kind of sinking. It gets hard to wake up in the morning. I can feel my affect changing when I don't."

In March, after doing a couple Christmas bazaars, she decided to get her business license and she joined the Wahkiakum Chamber of Commerce.

"The biggest reason for me to do this," Oxley said, "it's not a money maker. I enjoy meeting people. I enjoy just being part of the community. I've been able to share my story that everybody has struggles."

Oxley has named her business Wishcraft Crochet because there is magic and playfulness in what she does.

Oxley designed these dresses with only the measurements of the girls, grandnieces of a friend, to create her patterns.

"I make things that are fun, practical and/or unique," she said. "That's what I try to do."

Along with the blankets, scarves, hats, slippers, and pillows, she makes dolls. She even made her first dresses with only measurements to go by for the grandnieces of a friend. They fit perfectly.

Someday she hopes to do a wedding dress.

"I have the yarn," Oxley said. "I've spent a lot of time looking at different patterns to see what I like, but if I make the dress or a semi-formal dress, I will incorporate some of those ideas but it will be my own design."

What she doesn't sell, she donates.

"This isn't about making money," Oxley said. "It's about keeping it going and staying busy."

Look for Oxley and Wishcraft Crochet at the coming Harvest Vendor Fair at the marina in Cathlamet.

 

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