The Wahkiakum County Eagle - Established as The Skamokawa Eagle in 1891

To The Eagle:

Ah, the crosses we of the Conservative Branch must bear! Daring to mount a defense from criticisms by our Eagle editorial board, I am then skewered by one of my heroes Poul Toftemark, a leading member of the merry band who have worked tirelessly to keep the Westend of our county somewhat above high tide, defending it from the depredations of the Columbia Land Trust. So I hasten to apologize for any disinformation I may have disseminated and explain how that may have come about.

"Conservative Branch" is nomenclature invented by the Eagle's editor. I am actually a member of P.I.C.K.Y. (Puget Island Conservative Klan Yahoos). Being stranded out here in the swamps and jungles of Puget Island, we rely on semaphore and smoke signals to get information from the mainland, which may possibly cause distortions.

Among the nuggets of info we received in this fashion were the fact that Mr. Obama managed to borrow over a trillion bucks a year and raise federal deficits 259 percent in his first three years, with no help whatsoever from the evil Bush. Early in the game he handed the keys to General Motors to the unions, which isn't exactly giving them money, but you'll have to admit that the fleet of Chevy Volts is smokin' hot property.

On the military side, his abandonment of Iraq was against the advice of his military advisors, as was his strong signal that Afghanistan will be winding down next. The massacres have already started in Iraq, and the Taliban are busy planning future girl-stonings and other festivities.

The smoke signal about Solyndra indicated it was the child of George Kaiser, 31st richest guy in the country and huge Obama campaign donor. As part of the 535 million loan guarantee (previously refused by dumb ol' Bush) Kaiser will get repaid. Taxpayers won't. And Solyndra spent most of the money on lavish headquarters, not solar panels.

Sorry, Poul, if any of this is disinformation. If you're getting better stuff in your end of the county, could you find a way to forward it to us? Maybe a note in a bottle?

Howard Brawn

Puget Island