October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month

Domestic Violence (DV) Awareness Month was established in 1987 to connect advocates and communities across the nation. In 1989, Congress designated October to raise awareness and education on this issue which impacts millions every year, especially women and children.

According to the Domestic Violence Awareness Project “Domestic violence is best understood as a pattern of abusive behaviors–including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks as well as economic coercion–used by one intimate partner against another (adult or adolescent) to gain, maintain, or regain power and control in the relationship. Batterers use a range of tactics to frighten, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, often injure, and sometimes kill a current or former intimate partner.”

Data consistently reveals rural areas have higher incidents of DV and Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) and a greater lack of support resources compared to metropolitan areas. One such study titled “Rural Disparity in Domestic Violence Prevalence and Access to Resources” cites, “Women in small rural and isolated areas reported the highest prevalence of IPV (22.5 and 17.9 percent respectively) compared to 15.5 percent for urban women. Rural women reported significantly higher severity of physical abuse than their urban counterparts. The mean distance to the nearest IPV resource was three times greater for rural women than for urban women, and rural IPV programs served more counties and had fewer on-site shelter services. Over 25 percent of women in small rural and isolated areas lived over 40 miles from the closest program, compared with less than 1 percent of women living in urban areas.”

Other types of domestic violence

DV and abuse is often first associated with physical violence but the reality is abuse by DV takes many forms. It can be challenging while in an abusive environment to identify it, especially if physical abuse is absent. This can further complicate seeking help and being believed by law enforcement, friends and family, support and social circles, and even within the court system.

Coercive control underpins multiple forms of domestic violence and abuse. According to DomesticShelters.org, “Coercive control refers to any pattern of behavior an abuser uses to dominate their partner and limit their freedom. It can include physical abuse and emotional abuse, but often, coercive control is more subtle.”

Evan Stark, Ph.D., author of “Coercive Control,” estimates "between 60 and 80 percent of female domestic abuse survivors have experienced coercive control beyond physical and emotional abuse. Andrea Silverstone, RSW, executive director of Sagesse Domestic Violence Prevention Society in Canada, reports more than 95 percent of domestic violence victims experience coercive control.”

Emotional and psychological abuse: Prevalent in coercive control are emotional and psychological abuse that can include: isolating the victim from family, friends, and support networks. Deprivation of basic needs including sleep; humiliation and degradation; lying, gaslighting and blame-shifting; intimidation and terrorizing; stalking and harassment; and making physical threats against loved ones, pets, or even to themselves to get their way.

Financial or economic abuse: An article in Psychology Today titled “Financial Abuse: What It Is, What to Do if You're a Victim” defines this as a tactic to maintain power in a relationship. Examples listed include: not sharing account passwords or controlling access to finances; feeling entitled to a victim’s money or assets; deciding what the victim can or can’t spend money on; refusing to share information about, or hiding, income, assets or debts; not allowing someone to have their own cards or accounts; and controlling another’s ability to work.

Sexual abuse: The Department of Justice Office of Violence Against Women defines the intersection of sexual abuse and domestic violence as “coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact or behavior without consent. Sexual abuse includes, but is certainly not limited to, marital rape, attacks on sexual parts of the body, forcing sex after physical violence has occurred, or treating one in a sexually demeaning manner.”

Technological abuse: The Department of Justice Office of Violence Against Women also describes technological abuse as “an act or pattern of behavior intended to harm, threaten, control, stalk, harass, impersonate, exploit, extort, or monitor another person that occurs using any form of technology, including but not limited to: internet enabled devices, online spaces and platforms, computers, mobile devices, cameras and imaging programs, apps, location tracking devices, or communication technologies, or any other emerging technologies.”

This includes sharing of personal or intimate images, acts of “revenge porn,” and use of deep fakes designed to humiliate and degrade. In Oregon, House Bill 2299 takes effect Jan. 1, 2026 and modernizes the crime of unlawful dissemination of an intimate image to now include the disclosure of digitally created, manipulated or altered images. The bill increases the maximum penalty for first-degree and repeat offenders and includes additional charges.

Spiritual or religious abuse: Spiritual or religious abuse is not as commonly discussed. An article in Psychology Today titled “Religious Abuse in Intimate Partner Violence” states, “in some religious communities, teachings about submission, forgiveness, and the sanctity of marriage can be twisted to legitimize abusive behaviors in families and relationships” (such as physical, financial, emotional or sexual abuse/marital rape). The National Domestic Violence Hotline lists ridiculing or insulting the other person’s religious or spiritual beliefs, preventing the other partner from practicing their religious or spiritual beliefs, or using their partner’s religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate or shame them.

If you, or someone you know, needs help contact SAFE of Columbia County which stands for support, advocacy, freedom, empowerment. Those seeking assistance can complete or schedule a screening on the phone by calling the 24-hour help line at 866-397-6161 and speaking with an advocate. For more information visit safeofcolumbiacounty.org. In Wahkiakum county call the Charlotte House: 360-795-6400.