The Wahkiakum County Eagle - Established as The Skamokawa Eagle in 1891

No exoneration in US legal system


September 26, 2019

To The Eagle:

Alas, while fending off the vast socialist conspiracy from the fringes of our rustic riverine redoubt last week, we were pummeled by pugilistic progressives from the Middle Kingdom of Skamokawa, but those attacks were filled with conundrums and anomalies. After the writer’s perusal of the Mueller report, she notes that Mueller did not exonerate Trump. That’s true because he couldn’t. There is no such function as exoneration in the American legal system. A prosecutor can indict or not indict, and a judge or jury can find guilty or not guilty, but no one can exonerate.

In addition, it was an intelligence investigation, not a criminal investigation. In reality, it was an investigation in search of a crime, never found one, and was based on the Steele dossier which proved to be wholly fabricated. Along the way it had the unintended consequence of exposing real malfeasance by Hillary and Obama, and has just this week expanded to include Joe Biden in corruption involving both the Ukraine and China.

Two writers urge us to cast our lot with progressives or “other candidates,” but the platform they are all espousing, which includes abortion up to and after birth, banning guns, airplanes, cows, cars, private insurance, oil, and free speech, more taxes for the middle class and the rich, is way too intellectually sophisticated for us simple rustics. We jest can’t figger out how any of this would be good fer us.

Maybe it would help if we were better at language, as one writer said. These computer things are pretty complicated, so we still use a tattered old copy of Webster’s which says that “hector” means to talk to someone in a bullying way, and we had no idea the word had been demoted to meaningless. Live and learn. We’ll look forward to further elucidation.

Howard Brawn

Puget Island


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